My Pirate Bar

'Tis Done

2006-08-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

I realize I haven't posted in some time, but I actually did complete
the bar in time for Memorial Day. It may have been a bit sticky from
the stain and lacquer, but it was done. I will fill in the details of
what exactly I did soon. I have also set to work on building the back
bar. I will hopefully have that done by September 2, the first day of
the Notre Dame football season...

Somehow, I managed to turn this...

A crapload of wood, much of which we still haven't used, even though the bar is "finished."

Into this...

View from behind the bar, facing the short side.

Behind the bar, facing the long side.

The front corner of the bar. Note the wood putty. I ain't perfect.

The front of the bar.

And then this...

A fuzzy, disorienting picture of the bar. I plan on staining the legs
of the stools to match the bar. I used Jacobean stain, in case you're
wondering. You know you were.

The tap handle in all its glory, along with a sweet Cutty Sark light my
father-in-law gave me. The boat moves, and the light lights, which is
what lights do.

Note: I also built the bar table in the foreground. More on that later. (NOT PICTURED: Any friends)

Using only these...

The aforementioned stain. NOT PICTURED: The stain in my shorts when I inadvertantly cut into the top of the bar with a handsaw.

The grass didn't get cut at all during this project, but the wood did.

Equally good for sniffin'.

The saw. NOT PICTURED: Saw 2.

It's Official

2006-05-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

After a weekend at a friend's wedding in Delaware, I have officially decided that the name of my pirate bar will be "The Barrrrrrrr!"

I have also received a new cable for my digital camera, so pictures and more updates will be forthcoming.

Can I get this done by Memorial Day, when my wife and I plan on having our friends and family over for a housewarming? We shall soon see...

Ahoy, Painty!

2006-05-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

April 22-23, 2006--There's nothing good about painting. Seriously. Nothing. The paint will stain you, the fumes will kill you, and the first time you step in a tray of paint will annoy you. But there's just something about painting your entire basement "Seaman's Coat" blue that will make you giggle inside and out.

This weekend, I painted the basement in which my pirate bar will proudly sit. I plan on posting pictures of this entire project as I go, but my idiot dog chewed up the USB cable for my camera, so there's no way of getting all those pixels from the camera into my computer. I ordered a new cable, and I expect it will be arriving shortly.

Anyhow, the first step of the pirate bar-building began this weekend with the painting. As my wife pointed out several times throughout the day, "It's blue." Indeed. The pictures will prove it. More importantly, it's pi-radical.

Anyhow, I went through three cans of paint. I put two coats everywhere, and three coats on the part of the basement where the bar will sit. Truthfully, the whole basement needed three coats, but I ran out of paint and didn't feel like getting more. I'll do some touch-up work with the little bit of paint I have left at some point. I was stunned how tough it was to get blue to completely cover white. I'm guessing painting blue to white would have been even tougher, though. God help the people who eventually buy our house from us.

I want to get a sign that you face when you open the door to the basement pointing downstairs and reading, "TO THE BAR." When leaving the basement, I want a sign that reads, "BEYOND HERE THERE BE MONSTERS." I think that would be cool, and it's my damn bar.

Some random thoughts from my painting excursion:

Make fun of me all you like, but Queen rocked. By the way, has anyone ever heard the song "We Will Rock You" without it being followed by "We Are the Champions"? Aren't they two separate songs? I suppose after one gets rocked by us, that makes us the champions, so I guess they go together well. I also dare you to not think of Wayne's World when "Bohemian Rhapsody" comes on.
Cheap canvas tarp stops nothing from going through it.
Don't believe that warm air rises? Crouch down on your basement floor. Then go to the top of your basement stairs and stand on a ladder. Sweat. Repeat until you are a believer in physics.
Make sure said ladder at the top of the stairs is far, far away from the top stair, lest ye pass out.
You can only half-whistle, half-sing "A Pirate's Life for Me" for two hours and fifty-six minutes before you start to piss yourself off. Such singing also makes you wonder why you know most of the words to "A Pirate's Life for Me."
I am definitely going to have to put an air-quarium in my basement window to add to the pirate theme. Where the hell am I going to find a miniature hammerhead shark?
I can't decide whether these names for a pirate bar are cool or lame: Pirates' Cove, Pirates' Pub; Davey Jones' Liquor; The Jolly Roger; Tell No Tales Pub; The Barrrrrrrr; Captain Barbosa's Family Feedbag; Hook's. I have no filter for these things anymore.
If there is a beer that tastes like grog did, I'm pretty sure it has to be Budweiser.

That's all for now. I will post more as I think of it, and as more work gets done.

EDITED TO INCLUDE PICTURES...

Some before and after first coat/second coat shots. Stupid dark paint.

"How did I paint over the staircase," you ask?

Indiana Jones. Raiders of the Lost Ark. In the map room. Same concept.

My First Mate

2006-05-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I successfully recruited one of my buddies to help me with the building of the bar. He knows not to what he agreed. He's in it for the duration now. He's Mr. Smee to my Captain Hook. Wesley to my Dread Pirate Roberts. The guy with the wooden eye from Pirates of the Carribean to my bald guy who hates parlay. You know. The guy with the wooden eye. He was from The Office. The British (read, good) version. Garreth Keenan. Uh. Bobby Bonilla to my Andy Van Slyke? Anyhow, welcome aboard!

Barrrrrrrrr!

2006-04-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

So, I'm building a pirate bar. So far, I have this beer tap handle.

Most people wouldn't build a bar around a tap handle. Most people aren't me, and most tap handles aren't that awesome. Check back often to watch my progress. I don't have a chance of not hurting myself multiple times, so I can tell you what not to do when building your own bar.